When This

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Turns Into This

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Sometimes, what you think will be “Movin’ On Up” when you accept your man’s invitation to take that next ‘big step’ to move-in together, turns into a downward spiral of events, and ‘Movin’ On Out’ is your only option. When your dreams turn into a holy nightmare and things are going downhill, Just Do It, cut your loses, and join WestSide Rentals A.S.A.P.!  Ten tips to help you ‘Hit The Road Jack’, so you can “Be Happy, like a room without a roof”, or just a different roof!

#1   The Heart Will Fail You Every Time

Moving in with your significant other doesn’t always turn out to be the blissful spousal paradise you both had envisioned. Once you have recovered from the actual move itself, and you no longer have that excuse for the tension between your mate, you are forced to look at the problem with open eyes.  You must be prepared to pull up one of your makeshift chairs, i.e. cardboard moving boxes, and think this one through using only logic. Forget your heart yearning for the happier days of yesteryear, that’s not going to help you find a job, a new home, and keep you sane in the process, and if this is too challenging for you, just remember it was your stupid, crazy heart that got you here in the first place!  So, put that old ‘thinking cap on’ and you can examine ‘what condition your condition is in’ later.  Let me simplify this for you, and be honest with yourself, If you cannot logically come up with five really really good reasons to stay with your partner, then you need to leave.

#2   Confront The Problem

Once you have a clear understanding of what the irreconcilable differences are between you two, that will have you “raising the roof”, and not in a good way, gut up and deliver the bad news, or possibly good news, depending on how the other person feels.  You do not have to have a clear plan just yet, rather, just verbalize what you know in your head and your heart to be true, and spit it out no matter how hard it may seem in the moment.  Believe me, the longer you stay in the bad situation, the worse it will become, making it more and more difficult to leave.  Either your sweetheart will beg you to stay or he will happily start helping you pack.  If it is the latter, and you’re shocked, your next thought may involve strangling him to death with the plastic pack-wrap, but don’t.  After all, you have movers and a new place to find, and wasting perfectly good plastic pack-wrap won’t help you in the long run.

#3    Use Your Connections to Help You Disconnect

If ever there was a time to use your social networks and connections, it is now.  Facebook ‘blast’ everyone you know, requesting referrals for work and shelter ASAP, but spare them the intimate details of why you need the job and a new place.  As tempting as it may be in the moment, you will surely regret it when you’ve had some time to get over your ex.  The best way to get reconnected into your world and to disconnect from the current one you are in, is through friends you trust. Use those trusted contacts! Also, be thoughtful about who you think you should contact for housing and who is more vital to finding a job, because you cannot have one without the other.  Use resources like Craigslist,  Westside Rentals, ZillowTrulia, and (my favorite new resource) Padmapper!

#4    Take Back Your Security…Deposit That Is

Depending on the lease you have signed and whether or not you have signed it as a Tenant, Co-Tenant, or Occupant, you may actually have a little bit of ‘wiggle room’.  Hopefully, you did not list yourself as a Co-Tenant but rather an Occupant forfeiting any financial responsibility.  But, if you have, call the landlord explain the situation, and let them know you really have to get out of the lease and will be happy to find another individual to take over your lease. Find out what your options are, and hopefully your man is not a total jerk, and will be willing to either take over the lease completely, move out as well, or be willing to share the place with a creditworthy tenant who has the worst body odor ever, signs the lease via Docusign, and greets your boyfriend with his odor before his handshake.

#5   Learn From Your Mistakes and Don’t Go Breaking Your Heart Again!

Lesson learned. Maybe you are not the girl who is cool and progressive and willing to ‘play house’ before he has fully committed to being your “full-time lova”!  If you are not ready to sacrifice morals, or discover you both have irreconcilable differences three weeks in, then know who you are and who you are not.  Next time, that ‘Big Step’ is offered, politely decline, unless he is ready to step-it-up and walk you down the aisle, then over the threshold.  If he has a problem with that, then he can just keep on walkin’!