When This

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Turns Into This

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Sometimes, what you think will be “Movin’ On Up” when you accept your man’s invitation to take that next ‘big step’ to Move-in together, in reality, has you wanting to ‘move it on out’ and not just out of the house! When your dreams turn into a holy nightmare and things are going downhill, Just Do It- cut your losses and join WestSide Rentals ASAP!  Ten ways to figure it out and strategize a new plan to ‘Hit The Road Jack’ so you can “Be Happpppyyyy, like a room without a roof”, or just a different roof!

#1   The Heart Will Fail You Every Time

When moving in with your significant other doesn’t turn out to be the blissful spousal paradise you both had envisioned, and you have recovered from the actual move itself, so you no longer have that excuse, and you are forced to look at the problem with open eyes, all I can say it to pull up one of your makeshift chairs/cardboard moving boxes, and think this one through.  I am not saying you should feel it through because after all, your stupid crazy heart is what got you here in the first place, so give it a rest when it comes to examining the reality of ‘what condition your condition is in’. If you cannot logically come up with five really really good reasons to stay with the man you are with, then you need to leave.

#2   Confront The Problem

So, hopefully, you have thought through what logically has gotten you into this position and you have a clear understanding of what the issues between you two are that are just not going to be solved while living under the said roof, at least not until he puts a ring on it! So, gut up, and go tell him your decision. You do not have to have your plan all worked out, just know what you want and do not want and make it clear that you have decided to change your situation.  He may beg you to stay or most likely, he will be relieved and help you pack, which you will likely make you want to in turn strangle him with the plastic pack wrap- but pls, refrain and just walk away calmly, you have movers and a new place to find!

#3    Use Your Connections to Help You Disconnect

If ever there was a time to use your social networks and connections, the time is now.  Facebook blast out a request to a tailored list of friends asking if anyone knows of apartments becoming available soon or jobs depending on the severity of your situation.  The best way to get reconnected into your world and to disconnect from the current one you are in is through friends you trust. Use those trusted contacts! Now, also, use the contacts you don’t know so you can get a grasp of what the market looks like right now and how difficult it is going to be to find a new place. Use resources like Craigslist and Westside Rentals, Zillow, and Trulia, and my favorite new resource, Padmapper!

#4    Take Back Your Security…Deposit That Is

Depending on the lease you have signed and whether or not you have signed it as a Tenant, Co-Tenant, or Occupant, you may actually have a little bit of wiggle room.  Hopefully, you did not list yourself as a Co-Tenant but rather an Occupant forfeiting any financial responsibility.  But, if you have, call the landlord explain the situation, and let them know you really have to get out of the lease and will be happy to find another individual to take over your lease. Find out what your options are, and hopefully your man is not a total jerk, and will be willing to either take over the lease completely, move out as well, or be willing to share the place with a creditworthy tenant who has the worst body odor ever and signs the lease via Docusign and greets your boyfriend with his scent first! Surprise! hahaha

#5   Learn From Your Mistakes and Don’t Go Breaking Your Heart Again!

Lesson learned. Maybe you are not the girl who is cool and progressive and willing to play house before he has fully committed to being your “full-time lover”!  If you are not ready to sacrifice morals, or discover you both have irreconcilable differences three weeks in, then know who you are and who you are not, and next time that ‘Big Step’ is offered, tell him he has to step it up big time because the only ‘next steps’ you are going to be taking will be leading to a chapel before crossing any future threshold.  If he has a problem with that, then he can just keep on walkin’!