Laugh Out Loud

Need a laugh? Click on this link to discover the funniest articles and links that will have you rolling!

Abby Recovers Her Chairs- You’re Allowed To Laugh

Abby Recovers Her Dining Room Chairs…Laugh Out Loud! I know I did after watching this!

Abby Fender Recovers Her Dining Room Chairs! from Abby Fender on Vimeo.

Continue Reading…

What The Heck Am I Doing?

Flash Back from last August 2009 When I was living in Nashville, TN. It was a really interesting and fun time looking back. I hope you enjoy today’s post. It is PG-13.

Gosh. I guess I could be reading the Newspaper or getting out of this silk vintage gown I thought was so cool until I realized that there is a difference between vintage and so old the fabric is rotting. After deciding to turn a small hole into a gaping peep-show, I know now why I got such a “deal” on the gown in the first place. It is 11:00 a.m. Monday morning, and while I am loving the idea that I can somehow escape the realities of burdening life, I know at some point I must face bills, my scale in the bathroom, my pale skin and that dreaded trip to the car dealership that I plan on suing the pants off of next week. I want to go home though more than anything. Oh LA- I miss you so much! Speaking of LA, when is that stupid DVD going to arrive- if ever? I have been waiting for this DVD for like almost two weeks to put together an EPK. One week it feels like I have everything together, while other weeks I feel like just sitting in a baby pool and working on my tan ignoring the fact that I will probably be sitting on top of dog shit and suffer from severe Malaria due to the millions of Mosquito bites I will obtain in the thirty minutes I will stay out in my dogs’ backyard area. I could clip on one of those new little “Off” fan things and see if it might keep them away for a while. I wonder what people with real lives are doing today? Traveling in foreign lands? Making love to their partners in Europe or giving fossil tours in caves maybe in Mammoth cave in Kentucky? Speaking of which, I must share my experience with you all from yesterday’s adventure. I have turned over a few new leaves lately. Organization, socialization, and a desire to start earning money- my own money that is. I have accepted every invitation with a new passion and invigoration for whatever it is we might be doing. Kickball? Great! Count me in- all the time. I am thinking, ‘how do you play?’ Well, I figured it out, on the field, while my team members yelled at me what to do. It was great! Back to yesterday. Kentucky is only 85 miles from Nashville, and my friends Casey, Lila, and Andrea had invited me to go to Mammoth Cave and somewhere else- I didn’t even ask nor did I care, and hey, I still don’t know. I quit asking too many questions, because if you start asking questions, then you will somehow find a reason not to go. I got all dressed up for the big day and felt excited to be getting out and trying something new with people I love! We were off, cameras charged, lipstick on, cell chargers ready to go! I had never been to Kentucky before. It is just beautiful; nothing but  rolling lush green hills, and I just get a rush as we pass the “Free Spirit Welcome to Kentucky” sign, but am soon filled with a totally different rush of emotion as we pull into the “Kentucky Kangaroo Sanctuary.” I was confused. Was this a joke? Kangaroos as in the animal? But this is where they have the Kentucky Derby and get all dressed up right?  I was wearing Cole Hann white linen wedges and a cotton mini dress with a white linen jacket and a Chloe handbag. It was like 100 degrees. How could I have missed the whole outback element to our outing? I thought we were going to Kentucky not Australia!  Hmmmm. No problem- outfit modification- I ditched the jacket, brought back-up Bernardo sandals, and a water! Problem solved! We fed birds, filmed Kangaroos, and I even milked a cow! The lady said in a completely different twang, “No honey. Ya gotta squeeze from the top and go all the way to the bottom like dat.” I was determined and I finally did it- third time’s always a charm! I somehow always attrack bugs and thank

goodness they had “Off” in the gift shop, so I doused myself from head to toe, then we realized we were going to miss the bus at Mammoth Cave and better “high-tale” it over to the recreation center about 10 minutes away. We hop in our cars and arrive at the center. I fail to notice any of the “No Bags/ No Purses” signs about every 50 ft. and pack a small cosmetic bag with my phone and camera and ticket. Casey tosses me her giant rubber galoshes and they take off running. I am like, “Y’all wait!” They scream, “Abby! Hurry! They’re leaving right now!” So, I start running. It is is 3:30 p.m. August 2, in Kentucky! One word-HOT! My mini dress has fallen to my chins, the rubber boots feel like they weigh about 20 pounds each and I realize once I get there, I have forgotten my ticket, but I have my phone with the confirmation email. The first thing I hear is, “Ma’am. You can’t have that bag with you. No bags. Didn’t you read the sign? You got to put that back in your vehicle.” I said, “Oh. You mean the one I just RAN a mile from? Sure sure no problem!” I thought I was about to lose my cool, so to speak. The girls are not exactly pleased with me and would not let this one slide if they were to miss the bus due to me and my Louise Vuitton cosmetic bag. So, I take off again back to the car, running. I stick the camera in my strapless bra and a $20.00 bill, slam the door, then start running again. I am so hot, so thirsty, and so out of shape. My dress is falling down, I realize I have sweat off my “OFF” and have nothing to hydrate myself for the next two and a half hours! But, I arrive on time, and we load ourselves onto an over crowded bus. We unload into a forest, the bus leaves and then we are given a 30 minute speech about the “cave.” I wasn’t listening, I was just complaining in my head. Making fun of everyone around me. Laughing out-loud sometimes at the park rangers because it is all that I can do. I was so thirsty I was delirious and hungry. I didn’t even care what I looked like at this point. The girls just looked at me and laughed as I slapped the mosquitoes away. Covered in red bites, dripping in sweat, wearing tall shiny black rubber boots, and having no clue what I had gotten myself into, I entered what I thought would be more of a cavern than an actual cave.  We step into a tunnel like thing. It is narrow and cool, which I was so thrilled about, but then it was dark, and wet, and very small and confined. Then you looked down and it just dropped down thousands of feet.  I am incredibly claustrophobic and afraid of heights. Need I say more?  I casually ask Andrea, the calmest of the group, “Hey Andi, you think it is going to open up here in a little bit, you know like it won’t be this confined the whole time right?” She says, “Well Abby, It will probably gets worse because it is a cave, you know? We are going to go down into the ground. Are you Claustrophobic?” I can’t even look at her. I start to breath deep, and look around, and stop and panic. I know that I can’t leave, the buses are gone, and I am screwed. I know I have to just go. Shit is all I can think.I cannot panic. I have to remain calm. I am okay as long as the lollygagers will just walk. What are they doing? Why aren’t they walking? I then find out that the leader of the pack is a woman who is wearing a foot brace and walking with a cane! Give me a break just one! I made it through!

I do not know how- it was touch and go, but this proves that you can make it through anything if you really have to, but dear Lord! That is one I will never forget. I might ask a few more question in the future. At least when it comes to attire and activities involved. But yesterday was a little bit more exciting than today I suppose and maybe what doesn’t kill you gives you really great stories to blog about and others can laugh at your expense.

Hope you have a good day!

Abby Fender

Continue Reading…

Deep In The Heart Of Texas

Deep In The Heart Of Texas!

It has been a while since I have been home, but I thought I would go and visit my folks in East Texas, Tyler to be exact. It was an absolute blast and the first three hours proved to be quite an adventure.  If you know about Diary Queen, you will appreciate the video I am about to post and if anyone has ever been stopped by the Highway patrol, I am sure you can relate to the next video post. Anyhow, I just wanted to share the fun times in Ft. Worth, Tyler, and Dallas and let you in on where I am from and what we Texans do when we all get together!

Have a great day and enjoy the videos!

Abby Fender- Your Bargain Buddy and Personal Shopping Material Girl

Everything’s Better In Texas! from Abby Fender on Vimeo.

The Dairy Queen Up-Close and Personal from Abby Fender on Vimeo.

Mom Gets Caught from Abby Fender on Vimeo.

Continue Reading…

An Itch I am not Supposed to Scratch!

poisonivy-1

Well, I know that sometimes you get an itch you just can’t help but scratch, but as for me, I am itching all over and not allowed to scratch a single inch! Everyone thinks it is so original as they sing, “Poison I-veee-e-e, Poison I-veee-e-ee-e,” and you know it is NOT even poison ivy! It is Poison Oak, but I guess that doesn’t have the same ring to it? Anyway, I thought it would be fun to go hiking and humming that song in my head, “a hiking we shall go, a hiking we shall go,”  I had no idea the drastic change my tune would take in just 24 hours.  One -and-a-half weeks later, I am still itching and going to my third doctor’s appointment. So, I thought I would share with you all what I have learned about good ol’ Poison Ivy/Oak- take a good look and listen up!

This is what is looks like:

Poison Ivy Leaves.
Poison Ivy Leaves.
Poison-Oak Leaves- Looks familiar!
Poison-Oak Leaves- Looks familiar!

 

Here is what happens if you touch it or touch someone else who has touched it or has the oils from the plant on their body:

Poison Oak all over my neck, face, and even in my hair!!
Poison Oak all over my neck, face, and even in my hair!!

Yep! That’s me a few days after the first visit to the doctor’s office! It unfortunately, has continued to spread, and I will go again for a third time tomorrow morning, but I would like to share with you guys, the great medical treatments I have learned about in the last week and a half relating to poison oak and ivy!

Treatments:

For severe Poison Oak or Ivy- immediately go to your nearest urgent care! Do not leave without a full prescription of “Prednisone”- a steroid pill which will help with the inflammation and redness caused by the oils of the poisonous plant. Also, ask if they have a “Cortisone” shot they could administer as well. Be careful with the Prednisone, as you will feel so much better in the first few days and it might seem as if it is gone, but it will come back with a vengeance if you don’t taper off the Prednisone.

Over The Counter Power:

Although my doctors said that none of this stuff works, I am telling you it does! The itching is unbearable and the only thing that seemed to help me prior to visiting the doctor were the following products:

 

Benadryl Sprays and Creams – helps to topically relieve the itching!
Benadryl Sprays and Creams – helps to topically relieve the itching!
Benadryl Allergy Medication Relieves the itching and allows you to sleep at night!
Benadryl Allergy Medication Relieves the itching and allows you to sleep at night!
Removes Poison Oak and Ivy Oils from clothing, body, pets, and tools!
Removes Poison Oak and Ivy Oils from clothing, body, pets, and tools!

 

 

Helpful Tips:

  1. Take cold showers and use the Tecnu. Warm showers open your pores and will spread the Poison Oak or Ivy!
  2. Wash your clothes and bedding immediately. Do not sleep on the same sheets twice in a row- you’re just askin’ for it!
  3. Carry Alcohol wipes with you- not hand sanitizer. Alcohol is the only thing that will actually remove the oils from any surface.
  4. Don’t get in the sun or sweat! As this should be rather obvious, to some, it is not. Your body will sweat to cool itself and this will spread the oils.
  5. Do not scratch!! No matter how much it itches- it will spread if you scratch. If you think it is bad in one area, try feeling that itch all over!
  6. Call your doctor- hound he or she until you have been seen and the Poison Oak or Ivy is beginning to clear. Some people are really sensitive to Poison Oak/Ivy and it will take a more rigorous treatment plan than initially expected.
  7. Do not expect others to want to be around you, as you are contagious and very likely to spread the Poison Oak/Ivy to them accidentally.

Prescription Power House:

 

Vanos 0.1% Cream is supposed to do the trick for the entire body. Applied twice daily. Jury is still out on this one.
Vanos 0.1% Cream is supposed to do the trick for the entire body. Applied twice daily. Jury is still out on this one.
Locoid Lotion 0.1% is supposed to do the trick for the face and neck. Apply twice daily for severe Poison Oak/Ivy. Not so sure this one is any better.
Locoid Lotion 0.1% is supposed to do the trick for the face and neck. Apply twice daily for severe Poison Oak/Ivy. Not so sure this one is any better.
CLODERM 1% CREAM A topical steroid cream for moderate Poison Oak/Ivy. Can be used all over body, but is safe for the face and neck as well.
CLODERM 1% CREAM A topical steroid cream for moderate Poison Oak/Ivy. Can be used all over body, but is safe for the face and neck as well.
Olux-E Foam for the scalp! Ever thought of Poison anything in your hair?? Well, let me tell you, this stuff gets rid of it ASAP!
Olux-E Foam for the scalp! Ever thought of Poison anything in your hair?? Well, let me tell you, this stuff gets rid of it ASAP!

 

Medrol-Dose-Pack for Poison Oak/Ivy Treatment
Medrol-Dose-Pack for Poison Oak/Ivy Treatment
Prednisone- Steroid Prescription for treatment of Poison Oak/Ivy. I have yet to try it, but I am going to beg my doctor for it tomorrow. Everyone who has used it for treating their Poison Oak/Ivy has had amazing results.
Prednisone- Steroid Prescription for treatment of Poison Oak/Ivy. I have yet to try it, but I am going to beg my doctor for it tomorrow. Everyone who has used it for treating their Poison Oak/Ivy has had amazing results.

Where I am at this point:

While I have already been given two Cortisone injections, a Medrol Dose Pack, 4 different prescription steroid topical ointments, and have been washing my linens and clothing religiously- I still have this stuff and it is still spreading! So, other than Epsom Salt baths and continuing the Benadryl routine, I do not have much more to report. My friend however, who is currently on a cruise in the Caribbean, who suffered from Poison Oak severely, seems to be doing just fine now after loading up on the Prednisone for a few days- no shots and no Medrol Dose Pack. Hmmmm…I’ll have to look into that!

And if I ever have to hear that song “Poison Ivy” sung to me again- I think I will just pull my hair out!

Happy Hiking Gang, but Watch Out For The Springing Spruce and Potential Poisons on The Trail!

Abby Fender – Your Bargain Buddy and Personal Shopping Material Girl All In One!

Continue Reading…

%d bloggers like this: