Flash Back from last August 2009 When I was living in Nashville, TN. It was a really interesting and fun time looking back. I hope you enjoy today’s post. It is PG-13.
Gosh. I guess I could be reading the Newspaper or getting out of this silk vintage gown I thought was so cool until I realized that there is a difference between vintage and so old the fabric is rotting. After deciding to turn a small hole into a gaping peep-show, I know now why I got such a “deal” on the gown in the first place. It is 11:00 a.m. Monday morning, and while I am loving the idea that I can somehow escape the realities of burdening life, I know at some point I must face bills, my scale in the bathroom, my pale skin and that dreaded trip to the car dealership that I plan on suing the pants off of next week. I want to go home though more than anything. Oh LA- I miss you so much! Speaking of LA, when is that stupid DVD going to arrive- if ever? I have been waiting for this DVD for like almost two weeks to put together an EPK. One week it feels like I have everything together, while other weeks I feel like just sitting in a baby pool and working on my tan ignoring the fact that I will probably be sitting on top of dog shit and suffer from severe Malaria due to the millions of Mosquito bites I will obtain in the thirty minutes I will stay out in my dogs’ backyard area. I could clip on one of those new little “Off” fan things and see if it might keep them away for a while. I wonder what people with real lives are doing today? Traveling in foreign lands? Making love to their partners in Europe or giving fossil tours in caves maybe in Mammoth cave in Kentucky? Speaking of which, I must share my experience with you all from yesterday’s adventure. I have turned over a few new leaves lately. Organization, socialization, and a desire to start earning money- my own money that is. I have accepted every invitation with a new passion and invigoration for whatever it is we might be doing. Kickball? Great! Count me in- all the time. I am thinking, ‘how do you play?’ Well, I figured it out, on the field, while my team members yelled at me what to do. It was great! Back to yesterday. Kentucky is only 85 miles from Nashville, and my friends Casey, Lila, and Andrea had invited me to go to Mammoth Cave and somewhere else- I didn’t even ask nor did I care, and hey, I still don’t know. I quit asking too many questions, because if you start asking questions, then you will somehow find a reason not to go. I got all dressed up for the big day and felt excited to be getting out and trying something new with people I love! We were off, cameras charged, lipstick on, cell chargers ready to go! I had never been to Kentucky before. It is just beautiful; nothing but rolling lush green hills, and I just get a rush as we pass the “Free Spirit Welcome to Kentucky” sign, but am soon filled with a totally different rush of emotion as we pull into the “Kentucky Kangaroo Sanctuary.” I was confused. Was this a joke? Kangaroos as in the animal? But this is where they have the Kentucky Derby and get all dressed up right? I was wearing Cole Hann white linen wedges and a cotton mini dress with a white linen jacket and a Chloe handbag. It was like 100 degrees. How could I have missed the whole outback element to our outing? I thought we were going to Kentucky not Australia! Hmmmm. No problem- outfit modification- I ditched the jacket, brought back-up Bernardo sandals, and a water! Problem solved! We fed birds, filmed Kangaroos, and I even milked a cow! The lady said in a completely different twang, “No honey. Ya gotta squeeze from the top and go all the way to the bottom like dat.” I was determined and I finally did it- third time’s always a charm! I somehow always attrack bugs and thank
goodness they had “Off” in the gift shop, so I doused myself from head to toe, then we realized we were going to miss the bus at Mammoth Cave and better “high-tale” it over to the recreation center about 10 minutes away. We hop in our cars and arrive at the center. I fail to notice any of the “No Bags/ No Purses” signs about every 50 ft. and pack a small cosmetic bag with my phone and camera and ticket. Casey tosses me her giant rubber galoshes and they take off running. I am like, “Y’all wait!” They scream, “Abby! Hurry! They’re leaving right now!” So, I start running. It is is 3:30 p.m. August 2, in Kentucky! One word-HOT! My mini dress has fallen to my chins, the rubber boots feel like they weigh about 20 pounds each and I realize once I get there, I have forgotten my ticket, but I have my phone with the confirmation email. The first thing I hear is, “Ma’am. You can’t have that bag with you. No bags. Didn’t you read the sign? You got to put that back in your vehicle.” I said, “Oh. You mean the one I just RAN a mile from? Sure sure no problem!” I thought I was about to lose my cool, so to speak. The girls are not exactly pleased with me and would not let this one slide if they were to miss the bus due to me and my Louise Vuitton cosmetic bag. So, I take off again back to the car, running. I stick the camera in my strapless bra and a $20.00 bill, slam the door, then start running again. I am so hot, so thirsty, and so out of shape. My dress is falling down, I realize I have sweat off my “OFF” and have nothing to hydrate myself for the next two and a half hours! But, I arrive on time, and we load ourselves onto an over crowded bus. We unload into a forest, the bus leaves and then we are given a 30 minute speech about the “cave.” I wasn’t listening, I was just complaining in my head. Making fun of everyone around me. Laughing out-loud sometimes at the park rangers because it is all that I can do. I was so thirsty I was delirious and hungry. I didn’t even care what I looked like at this point. The girls just looked at me and laughed as I slapped the mosquitoes away. Covered in red bites, dripping in sweat, wearing tall shiny black rubber boots, and having no clue what I had gotten myself into, I entered what I thought would be more of a cavern than an actual cave. We step into a tunnel like thing. It is narrow and cool, which I was so thrilled about, but then it was dark, and wet, and very small and confined. Then you looked down and it just dropped down thousands of feet. I am incredibly claustrophobic and afraid of heights. Need I say more? I casually ask Andrea, the calmest of the group, “Hey Andi, you think it is going to open up here in a little bit, you know like it won’t be this confined the whole time right?” She says, “Well Abby, It will probably gets worse because it is a cave, you know? We are going to go down into the ground. Are you Claustrophobic?” I can’t even look at her. I start to breath deep, and look around, and stop and panic. I know that I can’t leave, the buses are gone, and I am screwed. I know I have to just go. Shit is all I can think.I cannot panic. I have to remain calm. I am okay as long as the lollygagers will just walk. What are they doing? Why aren’t they walking? I then find out that the leader of the pack is a woman who is wearing a foot brace and walking with a cane! Give me a break just one! I made it through!
I do not know how- it was touch and go, but this proves that you can make it through anything if you really have to, but dear Lord! That is one I will never forget. I might ask a few more question in the future. At least when it comes to attire and activities involved. But yesterday was a little bit more exciting than today I suppose and maybe what doesn’t kill you gives you really great stories to blog about and others can laugh at your expense.
Hope you have a good day!